Monday, November 7, 2011

Three Zero

Bah! I refuse to give up on this blog. My musings may be sporadic, but they are still there. I intended to post on October 23rd, and then bumped it to November 1st... now on the 7th I'm finally getting around to writing about the fact that I turn the big THREE-ZERO in, what is now, just over 2 weeks (November 23rd).

So, 30... that's a trip, right? Wasn't I just in grade school, or high school, or college for that matter? 30 years. 3 decades. Roughly almost 1/3 of a century. I could go on, but I'm sure you all know math.

What has gone on in my life in the past 30 years? Well, there was the usual: growing up, schooling, college, starting a career. I don't do anything half-assed though, so I also bought myself a few new cars over the years, got married AND divorced, left my job, moved halfway across the country to Texas, bought a house, bought a dog, found the absolute love of my life... I could go on, but then I'd just be bragging. Really the only things I haven't done are get remarried or pop out a kid. The kid thing can wait, I'm cool with that. I'm a busy chick. But it would've been awesome to say, "Yeah, I was engaged, married, divorced, engaged, and married again all before 30." Okay, so maybe "awesome" is the wrong word to use to describe that statement, but if you can't laugh at your own life, then you're pretty much destined to be miserable.

All in all, I certainly don't have much to complain about. I'm actually looking forward to 30. I wouldn't go backwards for anything. I'm more comfortable with myself now than I was at 25, 21, or 18. Sure, I've made enough bad decisions to write a fairly long novel about what not to do in life. But without those failures (and some were epic failures), I wouldn't be who I am today. And today I have the perfect combination of self-confidence and general lack of modesty to be able to say, "I love me!" And its true, I do.

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of things I would like to, and probably need to, change. Me and perfection don't really get along most times, but at this point in my life I'm okay with that. I've spent a good amount of time getting rid of all the bullshit and drama that infested my life... especially over the past year or so. It has allowed me to fully focus on me, my life, and what I need to do to be happy. And guess what? It worked. I'm happier now that I ever have been.

Honestly, that is the biggest and best lesson I have learned in the past 30 years. Cut the drama! Don't let other people bring you down, ruin your life, and/or get in your way. Someone has an issue with something that makes you genuinely happy? Make that their problem and not yours. Don't live your life walking on eggshells just to please those who take issue with your happiness. Ultimately, those people are unhappy with themselves and constantly feel the need to bring everyone else down to their level. Don't get sucked in. You're better than that, and don't need that kind of drama in your life. Even if you think that you will be totally alone if you cut out those who treat you this way... and truthfully, you might be for a little while... it will honest-to-God be more than worth it in the end. Trust me.

So now, in the last couple weeks of my twenties, I can honestly say, "Bring it on thirty! I'm ready for you." And anyone who takes issue with that, can kindly piss off.

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