Happy New Year

It's that time of year again... Time to make a ton of promises that you'll never be able to keep.

"New Year's resolutions? Well sure! This year I'm going to stick to that diet plan that I start every January, go to the gym every single day, teach my dog to communicate with squirrels... Oh! And fly. Yes, I'm going to learn to fly. But with wings, none of that airplane crap for me. That's for pansy asses who lack dedication to their resolutions."

I myself will be pseudo-pledging to eat better, exercise more at all, and update my blog more often. I figure if I can keep one out of three resolutions, I'll consider 2013 a success. And since dieting and exercise involve more effort than I generally care to put forth, I'm pretty sure that I'll be able to stick to a rigorous schedule of sitting on my ass and typing nonsense onto my iPad. I even installed a blogging app in preparation of my resolution. I am such a capable adult member of society.
 
So, with that being said, I'm going to go sit down, have a cookie, and publish this blog post.


...See what I did there?